Is Erotic Romance For Me?

During my dark days of writing, I remember chatting with one of my good friends about the state of my creative erotica.  Nothing was working for me.  I was one short story away from giving it all up when she tossed out the idea of exploring erotic romance just to see what happens.

What?

Now, I don’t have anything against erotic romance.  In fact, a great deal of the erotic stories and books that I enjoy on my tablet and my bookshelf would be best categorized as erotic romance.

However, reading them and writing them are two different things.

From a business aspect, I can see why erotic romance works so well.  It opens up your work to people who prefer romance into a more erotic world that, if done right, can be a wonderful mix.  They can get to the kink without feeling the guilt of reading erotica.  When you have people in love the ways they can express themselves to each other can be limitless.

Trust me.  I get it but the one thing I couldn’t reconcile was the fact that, when it came to my own personal experiences, as soon as the romantic feelings got stronger, the kink factor seemed to disappear.

I know this is probably true for everyone.  The more you get to know and trust someone, that feeling of pushing things to the edge, from an erotic stand point might not feel as hot as it used to.  That’s not to say that things aren’t still “hot” it’s just you know how high you can turn up the temperature before things get out of hand.

That’s where my mind went when the suggestion of romantic romance was presented to me.  The limitations of my own experiences rather than the limitless nature of my kinky imagination.

As I continued to chat with my friend, I started making excuses about why I didn’t think heading down the path or erotic romance was for me.  Then she pointed out that most of the new stuff I was writing all fell under the erotic romance category without me knowing it.

Huh?

Of course she was right as my drive to write myself out of my slump had resulted in focusing on longer stories of unrequited love as people fucked their way back to the other side of happiness, even if it were just for a moment.

She saw the hope in my desperate characters where I only saw their desperation because I was desperate!  Where I was writing from the perspective of pushing their carnal delights to dull the pain, she saw the enjoyment and connections of my characters as they explored their bodies to get to a better place.

Honestly, I’m a romantic at heart but I’m equally kinky so could my writing strike that balance that I look for in my personal life?

In time I started to see my stories through her eyes.  Things started to click a little better and I started to understand that the more complex I made the needs of my characters the kinkier I could get and if the underlining method to bring them together is based in romance, who am I not to write that?

KendelDavi

Sometimes You Have To Regroup

A little over nine months ago I hit a wall when it came to writing.

Now, I’ve hit these creative walls before.  They usually last only a few weeks but this one took my breath, my heart, and my willingness to fight through it until I reached the other side.

I don’t know what caused it or why I felt like I was drowning with each letter I typed.  The only thing that I know is that I continued to write.  I just had no urge to put anything out.

Not a tweet, not a short story, not a blog post… nothing.

Things felt like I was swimming in quicksand.  The more I wrote the heavier I felt.  Each new story I developed created more weight around my neck that kept pulling me towards the bottom.  I felt it in my lungs.  The sound of the fingers on the keyboard reverberated through my body as if they were a blast from cannon.  I started finding new excuses to miss new writing opportunities and the one that I had I almost tanked because I let my ego get in the way of the notes I was given.

It was at the darkest point that I understood what was standing in my way.

ME!

For the past few years I had fought off those demons that kept telling me that I didn’t deserve what I was getting.  In all honesty, writing erotica started off almost as a fluke.  The fact that I got published so close to when I started submitting fed that evil monster to the point that I felt I could do no wrong.  

Then the bottom fell out as the rejection letters started flowing in and I realized that my writing had moved so far away from what I wanted to do that I had to stop, regroup, and think of this as the business it needs to be for me.

When I started, I had no plan.  I was just writing to write and didn’t think too much about the Kendel Davi brand until it was too late.  I kept writing in different styles to see what would stick and in doing that I forgot what I liked writing about.

So, I stopped writing and started reading more.  I started searching for writers that I liked and reading their earlier works when I could get a hold of them.  In my free time I scanned the web devouring every writing tip I could find to see what might help.  Things started to fall back into place with a new understanding for me.  That passion I had for pushing out stories came back with a vengeance.  Soon, I had a few novels, short story collections, and outlines for several more works that I’ve been chipping away at for months.  I had that feeling that I had when I first started and then realized that I had created enough work to where I could map out a new plan, which is a lot better than working with no plan at all like I had been doing before.

This is the first step to getting Kendel Davi back to where Kendel Davi needs to be.

It might have taken a great deal of time to get here but going through that writing darkness was worth the wait for me.

So, here’s to new beginnings and keep your eyes open because the next few months will be filled with the fruits of my journey through the abyss as I continue to grow the best way I know how.

By writing through it.