Is Erotic Romance For Me?

During my dark days of writing, I remember chatting with one of my good friends about the state of my creative erotica.  Nothing was working for me.  I was one short story away from giving it all up when she tossed out the idea of exploring erotic romance just to see what happens.


Now, I don’t have anything against erotic romance.  In fact, a great deal of the erotic stories and books that I enjoy on my tablet and my bookshelf would be best categorized as erotic romance.

However, reading them and writing them are two different things.

From a business aspect, I can see why erotic romance works so well.  It opens up your work to people who prefer romance into a more erotic world that, if done right, can be a wonderful mix.  They can get to the kink without feeling the guilt of reading erotica.  When you have people in love the ways they can express themselves to each other can be limitless.

Trust me.  I get it but the one thing I couldn’t reconcile was the fact that, when it came to my own personal experiences, as soon as the romantic feelings got stronger, the kink factor seemed to disappear.

I know this is probably true for everyone.  The more you get to know and trust someone, that feeling of pushing things to the edge, from an erotic stand point might not feel as hot as it used to.  That’s not to say that things aren’t still “hot” it’s just you know how high you can turn up the temperature before things get out of hand.

That’s where my mind went when the suggestion of romantic romance was presented to me.  The limitations of my own experiences rather than the limitless nature of my kinky imagination.

As I continued to chat with my friend, I started making excuses about why I didn’t think heading down the path or erotic romance was for me.  Then she pointed out that most of the new stuff I was writing all fell under the erotic romance category without me knowing it.


Of course she was right as my drive to write myself out of my slump had resulted in focusing on longer stories of unrequited love as people fucked their way back to the other side of happiness, even if it were just for a moment.

She saw the hope in my desperate characters where I only saw their desperation because I was desperate!  Where I was writing from the perspective of pushing their carnal delights to dull the pain, she saw the enjoyment and connections of my characters as they explored their bodies to get to a better place.

Honestly, I’m a romantic at heart but I’m equally kinky so could my writing strike that balance that I look for in my personal life?

In time I started to see my stories through her eyes.  Things started to click a little better and I started to understand that the more complex I made the needs of my characters the kinkier I could get and if the underlining method to bring them together is based in romance, who am I not to write that?


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