Tantalizing Tuesdays – The Accidental Bull (WIP)

Well, it’s time for another Tantalizing Tuesday teaser.

This one comes from on of my novels that I’ve been working on for the past few years. This scene has been truncated to fit into that 200 word limit but I think it kind of gets the point across about why this moment is important in the life of my hero.

At least I hope it does.  Anyway here’s my teaser.

Accidental Bull_01

“Don’t worry. He’ll bend before he breaks.”

It’s not like I haven’t been in situations like this before but I did my best to avoid people I had a past with before this life. A slip of the tongue during casual conversations and my private life would be all over town. The rumors were already spreading about why I came back in the first place.

This was a temporary move. A return to familiar comforts to allow the healing process to begin. Soon I found my surroundings numbingly boring. One more conversation from small minded relatives about what Hollywood celebrities I knew, I might just eat a bullet. I needed some excitement. That’s when I came across her online profile.

Ana was talented visual artist with a taste for the macabre and kink. In high school they called her an oddball but she didn’t give a shit and due to the culture of the of the ‘urban’ deep south, we had to keep what we had a secret.

Now, my cock is lodged down her husband’s throat. For good measure she shoved his head down my shaft.

“Save some of that for me,” she whispered before giving me a kiss.

Thanks for stopping by and please visit some of the fellow writers sharing their work with you at the link below.

http://tantalizingtuesday.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/tantalizing-tuesday-16-january-2018_10.html

If This Blog Were to Die in the Woods…

 

If this blog were to die in the woods, would anyone notice?

That’s what has been stuck in my head over the past year. I mean, when I started this it had a purpose but recently it’s seemed more like a burden than anything else.

A lot of issues have forced these thoughts into my head. The past few year have been filled with personal tragedies, emotional upheavals, and stupid mistakes that I made that I thought at the time would make me feel better about being on this earth.

Yes, I lost friends and mentors due to illness. I lost jobs which forced my living situation to turn into a hell landscape. Being forced to move to a place where you have little to no privacy makes writing anything out of the ‘norm’ difficult beyond belief. I accidentally violated the trust of a good friend who had always been there for me in touch times due to a misunderstanding and I felt that I had to pull away.

When I first started out I was excited about writing erotica and the power it had to effect people. My work was getting noticed and my ego started to get in the way. Then that all came crashing down as this world of comfort that I had created for myself started to turn into black hole of dread. I’d write post and leave them on my computer. I’ve written several novellas that I didn’t even care to move past the second draft. I’ve outlined four novels from top to bottom, working out the emotional ins and outs of each chapter to the point where the outline itself could easily become the novel itself and yet the all sit digitally archived for me to do nothing with for over a year.

Why?

Is it because I lost faith in myself? Is it because the people outside of my Kendel Davi identity haven’t given me the same artistic support as I give them? Is it because the rejections started coming in and after years of spending a life writing other formats where I had my skin toughened to rejection, the ones I got from writing erotica effected me in a more harsh way?

Well, it’s all of that and none of it at the same time.

What I didn’t expect was that in opening myself up in this genre would force me to deal with what I was missing in my own life. The more I researched a topic and designed characters that would explore their kinks, the more mine started to bubble under my skin. I found myself caught between the reality of what I was discovering about myself and the dissatisfaction I was having with creating characters to explore this on paper.

That’s when the fear set in.

I knew the person I was when I started this blog wouldn’t stay the same but the last year has forced me to realize that the person I am now, at this moment is developing in ways he didn’t expect. My needs have changed and my willingness to share that in whatever form that needs to take had me paralyzed to share anything at all.

I never stopped writing but exposing that rawness on a blog seemed too much for me to take. I kept everything inside and soon all the pressure with no release came crashing down on me.

I’m not fully out of the woods with all of this but I’m starting to embrace why it happened and what I need to do in order to continue to grow.

There are several stages that come with personal growth on any level and if I could compare what I’m going through to any animal I’d have to say that this past year I’ve been a butterfly in the cocoon stage. That stage where the chemical changes are violent and painful but all wrapped up in a soft silk envelope that protects you from the outside elements while giving you enough room to grown. I’m not ready to take flight just yet but I can see the sunlight piercing through my protective covering.

So, back to the original question. If this blog were to die in the woods, would anyone notice?

I would and I think that’s the most important answer to this question.

Like all things, I need to change and this blog will change over the next few months but knowing that I still need this in order to become a better person it probably the most important lesson I’ve learned through the past year of emotional upheaval and tragedy.

Tantalizing Tuesdays – Flip The Switch

I can’t believe it’s been almost two years since I’ve done a Tantalizing Tuesdays but I’m glad to be back. I could explain my absence but I’ll leave that for another post. Right now, I have a fresh teaser to share with you.

Flip The Switch

Flip The Switch

It just slipped out. After getting us to this point I didn’t want to give her a reason to stop but that became more difficult with each clumsy word that trickled from her mouth.

Talking dirty wasn’t her forte. None of this was in her wheelhouse. The fact she was willing to try this at least once made me giddy on an uncontrollable level. She had done so good with the restraints I forgot she was a novice, and I relaxed into that subspace that I craved for so long. Then she spoke. Her words cascaded into each other in her attempt to put the harshest words in the right place. I couldn’t help but giggle and as the sound shot out of my mouth, the fear that she was stop consumed me.

“What are you laughing at, bitch?”

The force of the strike across my cheek let me know she had no intention of stopping. She was committed to taking this to the extreme and fulfilling her promise that I would have to beg her to stop.

It was in that moment that I feared that once she crossed this line would there be anyway to bring her back?

I hope you enjoyed this first tease of 2018 and make sure you check out the other writers sharing their work with you today at the following link:

Tantalizing Tuesday Jan. 9th 2018