Sometimes, life comes at you hard.
It was never my intention to stop writing on this blog for this long. I mean, I knew things were getting crazy in my life and I needed to take some time to sort things out but I never expected to have this long of a hiatus. Each time I wrote a new entry of a new story, right as I was about to post it, LIFE WOULD HAPPEN.
Now, not all of this was bad. Actually, a lot of it was great but the amount of time it took to make sure these task were done with the skill that they needed left me with little to no free time.
That’s the blessing and curse of working in several different creative avenues. Getting swamped with one project while you’re trying to revamp another leaves you with two choices; cut some things out or stop sleeping. Well, I had to cut some things out, revamp, and find a way to get back to what I love to do, which is writing.
Right now, I’m not going to focus on the bad things. There’s no need to and now that I’m on the other side, I’m still not ready to process everything that happened. There was a lot of personal loss. Mentors, friends, family… it was one of those times where usually I could bury myself in my writing and allow the pain to flow through my fingers but work called and that… well, let’s just say was hit or miss. There was a major shift that took a lot of planning to get to the point where I could survive on a day-to-day basis. Once I tacked that, the workflow hit hard.
However, whenever you work in a creative environment with people who aren’t creative, when it comes to paying you for you work, the seem to feel that what you did for them wasn’t worth the price on your invoices. I still have some outstanding payments that I doubt I’ll ever be able to reclaim. The amount of time and energy I would expend to take these people to small claims court to force them to eventually pay me to began to drain me. So, I put it in the hands of the universe, allowed my focus to switch from the anger I felt from not getting jobs to procuring more work, and things just recently started to pan out for the better.
There were things that I needed in order to keep moving forward, a newer laptop that could handle the new workload of creative freelance jobs I was getting was a necessity. Of course when the universe grants you a blessing, it reminds you who is really in control.
When I was a few weeks away from having everything in place to get this new laptop, my desktop decided to die. Well, not die but it definitely when from working properly to being thrown into ICU. Random shut downs in the middle of rendering projects, the black screen of death was always a fear whenever I had the computer on for too long and yet, it gave me just enough time to complete my tasks in order to get to where I am right now.
That place being the ability to get back to this blog on a regular basis.
Well, maybe not regular just yet but I have no excuse to not drop a post at least once a week.
Now, that was the work I was doing for other people that was causing havoc in my life. However, in doing that, my need to create sexy stories started filtering into my other work by force and in an unexpected way, those people who projected themselves to be ‘sex positive’ proved me wrong time after time.
Of course I watered things down a bit for a more general audience, but the payoff was way beyond what I expected. Where I expected people to run away from my work, the embraced it and now I can see how to incorporate what I was doing here to what I do out there and the balance is what had taken me away much longer than what I expected.
So, I’m kinda, sorta back for the time being. I have a lot of stuff I wrote by hand that I have to type up in the next few days and get back to posting blog entries. My brain has been in an erotica overdrive and some of the ideas and concepts that have been shooting out of my head between 2-5am have come from a place of truth and exhaustion and I can’t wait until I have them typed up so I can share them with you.
For those of you that have stayed around thanks a lot. Reading you’re post have helped me get back and I think, I might stay around for a while longer this time.